yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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