He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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