just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
