I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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