I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
