Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She bit a glass in half.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
