what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
