Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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