Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize