I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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