i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
