He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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