That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
