I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize