Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm at about main and main street
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize