I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
