i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
