She announced her abortion via fbk
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
