the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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