I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
