VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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