I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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