so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
