I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
