There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
