My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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