I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
