First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
