I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
