Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
