ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
