Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Alive.
So much puke
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
