"it" just moved
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
