I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
