Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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