Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
should my penis look like a turkey
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
