I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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