Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
