All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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