his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
