I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Green mimosas i think yes
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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