I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
