Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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