How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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