if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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