also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
