If that was your dad, he is hot
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
