When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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