I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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