good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
