sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
