that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
