question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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