VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
