This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
