I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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