if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
