we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
